My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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