So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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