Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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