hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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