Fuck appropriateness.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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