Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
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I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
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So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not