He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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