your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.