Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.