it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.