I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize