its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
