ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
