some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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