My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
