who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
