Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize