He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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