I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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