Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
