hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
