you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Randomize
