What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize