We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just made my gag reflex go away.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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