We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
