Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
