I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
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we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
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That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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