Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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