so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
