once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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