we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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