You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
