You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize