I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
