Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
