"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
