plz talk dirty to me
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
