Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
