my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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