dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
