Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
