if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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