I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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