I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
