1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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