Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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