Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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