You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
