Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
