More tranny stories later!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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