I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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