Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
