I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
