My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize