thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
