I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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