He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize