Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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