And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
