I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
