Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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