That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
