Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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