what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
