Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
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you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
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He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat