so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
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I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
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How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.