Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed. http://tfl.nu/t2tl

Replies (17) Good night (4785) Bad night (782)
Favorite
(813): View more from Florida

Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(813): Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message. http://tfl.nu/p8es

Replies (22) Good night (5607) Bad night (776)
Favorite
(859): View more from Kentucky

i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(859): i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me" http://tfl.nu/l7cf

Replies (130) Good night (8666) Bad night (3212)
Favorite
(408): View more from California

You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(408): You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job. http://tfl.nu/u3yp

Replies (15) Good night (4431) Bad night (896)
Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success. http://tfl.nu/o5kx

Replies (7) Good night (5540) Bad night (887)
Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making? http://tfl.nu/bys4

Replies (9) Good night (3737) Bad night (659)
Favorite
(239): View more from Florida

While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(239): While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth". http://tfl.nu/xyop

Replies (6) Good night (5162) Bad night (1018)
Favorite
(310): View more from California

The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit. http://tfl.nu/agun

Replies (19) Good night (5873) Bad night (1726)
Favorite
(707): View more from California

We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(707): We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE. http://tfl.nu/7oeu

Replies (9) Good night (1353) Bad night (2311)
Favorite
(718): View more from New York

Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(718): Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/imva

Replies (5) Good night (1809) Bad night (614)
Favorite
(208): View more from Idaho

He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(208): He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like. http://tfl.nu/bbeg

Replies (12) Good night (929) Bad night (702)
Favorite
(540): View more from Virginia

I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(540): I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back http://tfl.nu/d3ys

Replies (5) Good night (920) Bad night (428)
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"

(1+61): View more from

I don't know if I want context or not...

(+61): View more from Australia

Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort" (1+61): I don't know if I want context or not... (+61): Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5. http://tfl.nu/jpk3

Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (568)
Favorite
(970): View more from Colorado

you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(970): you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants... http://tfl.nu/t3k2

Replies (2) Good night (308) Bad night (436)
Favorite
(585): View more from New York

I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(585): I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night http://tfl.nu/wd4l

Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (169)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: