Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?

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(681): View more from West Virginia

Where are I am going home with Ryan

(601): View more from Mississippi

I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it

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(304): View more from West Virginia

my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh

(513): View more from Ohio

is this your pickup line?

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(631): View more from New York

I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(619): View more from California

Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.

(847): View more from Illinois

Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.

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(212): View more from New York

I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.

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(301): View more from Maryland

My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'll just say I told you so at your funeral

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