I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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