Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
