He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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