Texts From Last Night

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  (720): View more from Colorado

  There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"

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  (720): There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!" http://tfl.nu/c7ck
  Replies (64) Good night (10213) Bad night (881)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I forgot how hot balto sounded

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  (937): I forgot how hot balto sounded http://tfl.nu/4hja
  Replies (18) Good night (3701) Bad night (1020)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.

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  (513): Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March. http://tfl.nu/hwnt
  Replies (13) Good night (3795) Bad night (925)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce

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  (603): Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce http://tfl.nu/x8zt
  Replies (11) Good night (3716) Bad night (1184)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.

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  (928): She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry. http://tfl.nu/gi6e
  Replies (26) Good night (8234) Bad night (1096)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.

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  (479): You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it. http://tfl.nu/l6w1
  Replies (2) Good night (2296) Bad night (803)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.

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  (608): She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism. http://tfl.nu/czkn
  Replies (4) Good night (1806) Bad night (643)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.

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  (814): The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge. http://tfl.nu/3qou
  Replies (6) Good night (3263) Bad night (805)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.

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  (519): You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month. http://tfl.nu/3065
  Replies (9) Good night (2136) Bad night (723)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.

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  (740): Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina. http://tfl.nu/wkh7
  Replies (13) Good night (1015) Bad night (2105)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.

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  (440): Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved. http://tfl.nu/v30q
  Replies (3) Good night (1736) Bad night (558)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour

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  (774): It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour http://tfl.nu/kved
  Replies (1) Good night (648) Bad night (388)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.

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  (609): I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding. http://tfl.nu/8ezs
  Replies (11) Good night (1180) Bad night (430)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.

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  (920): These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice. http://tfl.nu/xvwn
  Replies (0) Good night (733) Bad night (311)
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  (714): View more from California

  I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!

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  (714): I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring! http://tfl.nu/qkmv
  Replies (6) Good night (673) Bad night (275)

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