Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.

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(516): View more from New York

its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved

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(713): View more from Texas

Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(801): View more from Utah

I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.

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(954): View more from Florida

Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?

(561): View more from Florida

Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.

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