Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
