make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
