I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
