$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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