It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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