she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We are all done wearing pants today
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
