Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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