I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
