Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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