2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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